Just shootin' the breeze...

"Motivation such an aggravation,
Accusations don't know how to take them.
Inspiration's getting hard to fake it.
Concentration never hard to break it.
Situation never what you want it to be."

This whole paragraph pretty much sums up my life right now, and that really sucks. Not to be mistaken with wrong intentions, I should clarify that I absolutely love my life. I have a wonderful husband who adores me, a job that allows me to wear sweatpants to work, family members who would do anything for me, a roof over my head, and two of the most lovable dogs that have ever walked the Earth.

So why with all of these wonderful blessings, do I feel miserable?

Well, it all comes own to motivation. Sum 41 really hit the nail on the head in saying that it is an aggravation. Because it is! So I guess the question on the table is how does someone with so much creative talent, get motivated to do what they were meant to do? I'm not necessarily referring to myself, but in some respects I am. I try to be a humble person when it comes to things that I do, but when someone tells me that something I made, or wrote, or whatever is good, I can't help but think, "hell yeah, I'm awesome!" Actually, if I'm being honest, I don't think that at all. Instead, all I can think of if how I could have done better, or how I should have improved what I created. And you know where that thought process is going to get you? Sitting on your couch, watching movie, after tv show, after game, wasting your life away, and I really don't want to be this person that I've become. I know in my heart, that I am better than the person sitting here typing this.

About a week ago my sister got married. Many of her family and friends came in for the occasion and it was wonderful to see them. One person in particular, my cousin Jamie, flew in from Chicago. Now, I love Jamie for the person she is. She's not afraid to say what someone else won't, and she doesn't sugar coat things. That may be hard for some people to take, (and in this case I'm one of those people) but that is exactly why I adore her. So this past weekend, we were all sitting around our campfire after the wedding just shootin' the breeze, when somehow my creative prowess had come up. I don't understand how or why, but at that very moment I was put on the ringer to be stretched, pulled, and tortured in every way possible. One of things that Jamie said to me, which to this moment rings home with me is that I am afraid to do things, afraid to go after the desires that I want because I'm scared. But not scared in the thriller movie type of sense. She pointed out that I'm scared to do things because if I am not perfect at what I do, I will be disappointed in the result. Well my hats off to you cousin, because you were right.

I am scared. Scared, (insert word here.) But thanks to Jamie I'm also very thankful because through her, and some other very loving yet blunt family members, I think I was able to see the light. It's okay to strive for greatness in the things that you do, but when you strive for perfection, all you'll end up with is a lackluster life of aggravation.

So where do I go from here? Well to start I'm writing this blog and we'll see where I end up. Hopefully I'll keep writing, whether it be here on the schnozberries, or sitting at my piano. But no matter what happens, all I really want from this point on is the motivation to stay motivated. Because once that hurdle is surpassed, it's all downhill from there.

This is Ashley reminding you that a taste of schnozberries is where I write, and that's where I plan to stay.